Anyway, let's see what's in this book. Scully (yes, the cat) is sitting beside me on the couch, sniffing the pages, 'cause she loves that "new book smell." Don't we all. Except those Kindle fanatics, of course (I can picture them now: "Mmmmm, get a whiff of those electrons ...").
Yadda yadda yadda ... there's basic stuff in here, such as FEED 'EM. Yep, kinda knew that. MAKE SURE THEY GET EXERCISE. I do believe the expression on Scully's face right now says, "Are they frakkin' crazy?! Kiss my furry ass!" She used to chase soda bottle lids all over the place (they roll nicely), but those days are long gone. Maybe once the weather gets warm she'll revert to her younger, more energized self. I could try peas. Believe it or not, she used to chase peas across the kitchen floor. Until a couple years ago, she loved vegetables. Didn't just chase them -- she ate them, spearing each corn kernel or pea with a claw and picking them up in her paw. Do other cats enjoy veggies, I wonder? Or was that unique? Maybe she was a vegan in a former life.
GIVING CATS MEDICATIONS ... Pills, ear drops, eye meds ... Very helpful descriptions of how to administer each of these. But they don't mention furry feet flying in all directions, pills being spat across the room, or pitiful crying and big, sad eyes that make you feel like the meanest cat owner on earth. They do give advice on how to avoid bitten fingers, though. If only I'd had this book when Scully was young. She was originally a feral cat, and I lost count of how many times she bit me -- badly -- back then. But she's mellowed nicely and turned sweet and cuddly. Ya know ... till the need for meds arises. Max, on the other hand, never really bites -- she does this fake-bite thing, where she appears to be chomping on you, but barely touches the skin. I guess she thinks it's intimidating. Actually, it just looks silly.
There's a photo of a cat with a muzzle on. It covers the entire face and extends forward as if there's a big snout inside. The cat's head looks like a Dust Buster. I would not live through putting this on either of my cats.
I love the directions on HOW TO PICK UP A CAT THAT NEEDS HELP -- did Scully sneak out & start a modeling career when I wasn't looking? The cat in the photos looks exactly like her ... other than the fact that the "injured" model/cat has not used her back claws to rip a Z for Zorro across the lady's ample bosom ("ample bosom" -- see, I could write romance novels!)
OK, I'm sure we've all had enough of the book, so off to the bookshelf it goes. The most important thing about it is ... I hope I never NEED it.